Hello. I’m going to talk to you today about living a life that feels right for you.
And I have a little bit to say about that, a couple ideas, and then I’ve got a tip that is a really simple thing, but it can change your life.
And then I’m going to share with you a question that I still have about living a life that feels right for you. So you might have some thoughts or questions of your own or comments and just let me know in the comments or send me an email about what you think okay?
So… Living a life that feels right for you.
I’m going to start with saying that I think most people, in a lot of areas of their life, are so used to living in a way that doesn’t feel right for them that they don’t even realize that they’re out of alignment like that.
That, you know, it’s been decades like this. How you see your work. How you see your personality. How you make decisions.
And there’s this sense of discord and dis-ease that is this kind of background vibration or default feeling in your life.
And in my experience it really is just a moment by moment slowing down and FEELING what’s right and asking what’s right.
And as you do that, as you take the time to pause, like I was just doing, before you act, before you speak, before you make a decision… Then that new foundation of what feels right for you, what’s heading in the direction of what you really want… That builds up over time and that becomes a new default.
It becomes a new way of approaching your life.
And again, I’ll say it just begins with taking that in-the-moment pause to feel and to ask.
Now kids, if you have kids or you spend a lot of time around kids, then you know that this is our nature. Doing things that feel right for us, that feel fun, that feel exciting… And when someone tries to make us do something that doesn’t feel good to us, that doesn’t feel fun… We don’t want to do it. We put up a fight.
And with how most of us were raised, and the school paradigm, which leads into the work paradigm, we’re trained away from that feeling of what feels right for us.
And the image of “success” has nothing to do with what actually feels right for you, and what’s actually going to make you feel happy and fulfilled.
So there’s a bit of undoing that process of fitting into an old paradigm of success or some vision of success that is not YOUR vision of success.
So as you watch kids you remember how you were. That you used to know INSTANTLY what felt right for you.
And by the way, you had more energy, you had more honesty, more play, you were more powerful, you were more creative, you slept better, you woke up with more energy. So there’s something to that.
Now the tip that I want to share with you is: don’t agree to do anything until you have taken that time to pause and FEEL if this is something that’s right for you.
And the way you can apply this is… it’s usually people asking you to do things. Could be in your work or your family or your friends or a stranger inviting you to do something, asking you to do something, asking you to do a task, or to fulfill some, you know, some obligation or something. Could be just inviting you out to a meal.
You know normally we get in this habit of people pleasing. Or not wanting to offend people or not willing to be seen as a jerk or something.
And so we’ll agree to things. In the moment we’ll agree to things, with this little bit of background sense of anxiety, instead of taking the time to pause and FEEL if this is something that you really want to do.
So this new habit of taking the time to pause…
Here’s the pre-habit: just get used to saying, “Thank you so much for the offer, for the invitation,” or, “I hear that you want me to do this. Let me think about it and I’ll get back to you.”
You can tell them a specific time period. I’ll get back to you tomorrow. I’ll get back to you in an hour. I’ll get back to you in a week.
That’s fine, but also feel what that length of time is for you that feels good. And being respectful of them. If it’s a decision that needs to be made soon then make the decision more soon.
And then the second part of this habit is then to take the time in your own space, AWAY from that person or AWAY from that situation, to FEEL if this is something that you want to commit to. That you want to commit your time and your energy or your money to.
And then communicate. And act on that.
That’s the tip. Don’t agree to do anything on the spot.
Unless it feels amazing and you can feel it is something… Maybe something that’s already part of your vision. Something you’ve already asked for. Something you’ve already written on your Fyckit List, your five-year bucket list.
Then when the opportunity comes and you feel that pull forward and the inspiration, and maybe even a little fear, but it still feels right for you, then you can act immediately and the universe loves that sh*t.
Okay, that’s the tip.
Now here’s my question about it.
I think that in our lives, as we go for bigger and bigger dreams, there’s going to be times when we’ve got to do stuff that feels scary. Even though it’s totally aligned with our vision. We know we want it. We know it’s good for us. It’s going to give us more of what we want. We’re going to grow in a good direction.
But it feels scary.
It could be, you know, putting your message out there. It could be speaking to a group of people. It could be doing a backflip off a big cliff jump. Or just doing the cliff jump.
So my question is in those moments, where life is presenting an opportunity to act and do something that feels right but scary, how do we make that decision? How do you know when it’s the right time to just leap?
And I lean towards if it feels scary there’s a reason. It means it’s truly important, so just do it. Take the leap.
What do you think? Is it possible to just live your life from a place of taking the pause… This feels good…
So you’re up at the top of the cliff jump. You’re looking over. You’re going, “Yes, this is something that I want to do. I know it could be fun. But I feel scared.”
Yeah, anyway, those are my thoughts about that. That’s my question.
I wish you a life that feels good to you. That feels right to you.
That’s all. Have a great day. Lots of love from Bali.
Recorded at Ubud, Bali on Mar 6, 2018